Jason's Blog

Another personality thing…

by on Feb.02, 2004, under General

No matter how I make act like an extrovert, I really and truly am a severe introvert. I can talk, hang out with anyone, but most of the time all they ever see is the surface. Only maybe one or two people have ever seen me truly cry. Even more, only a very few people have ever truly known me, known what makes me tick, what goes on in my life, knows how I feel, when I hurt, and when I’m happy.

As part of that, it’s when I hurt most, that I hide in myself the most, and it’s when I struggle the most. I’m in some ways hiding right now, so others don’t see the hurt, to try and heal. I see myself doing it, even though I try and go out and live life. It’s just that inside, when you feel dead, it’s hard to go out and feel alive….

So, please, as I’ve asked before, prayers. I’m not smoking, and haven’t smoked yet, although I feel the urge. I am resisting, finishing a promise I made a long time ago, one that I broke, and will always regret breaking. So, please my friends and readers, pray for me, pray for my heart, pray for strength, pray for life….

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