Jason's Blog

Tis the season of Lent!

by on Feb.26, 2004, under General

It’s an interesting time of year. Lent is a time of “soul-searching and repentance”. I know I’ve already done quite a bit of soul searching, already trying to do some major repentance. I’ve of course got more to do, and in some ways, will never complete either, as with time, new soul searching and repentance become necessary. But, hopefully for this season of Lent, I can do some more major soul searching, figure out my life, it’s direction, where God is calling me, what he’s calling me to do. I have hopes, prayers, and dreams, but it’s hard sometimes to know what are mine, and what aren’t. I’m just going to do the best I can. It’s all any of us can do at the end.

We just try and follow God’s will, try and make his will our own. I think I’ve been doing a much better job these last two months, in that once I started praying again, and decided that I really couldn’t do it all on my own, God has been a MAJOR force in my life. More than words can describe. With all the struggles I’ve had lately, God has been there at every turn, helping me, carrying me through the difficulties. I still struggle on occasional days, struggle with feelings, with understanding my feelings. But, on each of those days, I’ve been praying. Often, I’ll pray the rosary, or I’ll just sit for an hour, and pray. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed so much in my entire life. I can now see why it’s so … powerful? I just wish I’d seen all this earlier.

But, one can’t change the past, one can only work on the future. And as such, I’ve got a few things for this season of lent which I intend to work on.

  • First, I’m going to stop eating out as much. This is not only a major expense, but also fairly unhealthy. I’ve been doing better about avoiding this, but I still need to work on it. SO, no eating out during work this season of lent. This is primarily related to eating out at work. I still plan (and will) take dates out to dinner, but that’s the limit. I’m going to place some heavy limits on ordering pizza in the evenings, etc..
  • Second, it’s called health time. A friend challenged me in a lot of ways, including that faith above, and this is another challenge I need to take up. It’s one I’ve needed to take up for quite a while. I started last night, when I bought veggie cups, multi-grain bread, lots of skim milk and orange juice, vitamin tablets, and things like that. I’m going to do my best to get onto a major health kick here. It’s hard doing it alone, particularly since I generally don’t cook, but I think I need to start, and probably will start cooking more as a result.
  • My last public lenten goal, is to continue my prayer life, to continue going to daily mass, to work more on my faith, and deepening it. I’ve been doing better, but I’ve still got a lot of work to do, and it’s one I want to make it such a part of my life, to integrate it as I’ve never done before.

Some last notes, before I close. I actually cooked last night, on Ash Wednesday. I cooked some veggie lasagna, along with garlic potatoes, and garlic cheese bread (I’m a garlic nut it seems). It turned out pretty well, although the lasagna probably could have used a few more minutes, and cooled off wayyyy too quickly. But, it was actually kinda fun to cook. And thankfully, I had help in cooking. I don’t think I could cook alone for myself, but I can if there’s someone I’m cooking for. Mary, a friend of mine, joined me in cooking and she even made brownies! WOOHOO (*sigh* Have to have exceptions on the health kick). But, hopefully I can keep up the trend, maybe cooking on a regular basis. if nothing else, it helps to have leftovers the next day, and even more, helps me with that whole health kick thing smile

So, as I close, I ask once a gain for prayers, not so much for me, but more that God’s will be done in my life, that he help us find his will, to follow it, and with that, I leave you with an old, but very cool prayer:

Grant me the Serenity to accept
The things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.

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